Keep your intentions obvious. Don’t write a raunchy note if you are looking for a serious relationship. Starting out communication that way can only give someone idea that you are looking for just one thing. Which is fine if you really are. You don’t want to overwhelm them either by saying something like “I am looking for a Daddy for my kids” or “I plan on being married by end of year!”. However, you do want to be clear either through your personal ad or through your contact note exactly what you are seeking.

Always be honest. At this point person you will hurt most by trying to be someone or something you are not is yourself. Be honest as you communicate with your new friends. After all, you want someone to love you for who you really are, not who you can pretend to be.

Don’t forget…use your wit. The people who use their humor get best responses and keep people coming back for more.

Emotionally you have to consider how every one of your actions will affect your child. Are they old enough to understand dating? When I felt that a relationship was ready to move to next level, I would allow that person to meet my daughter. I would always introduce them as just a friend and affection would be off limits in front of her. When she got older, I was luckily able to explain about dating to her and fact that every man I dated was not necessarily going to be her “Daddy” (her birth father is a "dead-beat dad" with no contact). You have to be up front with them at whatever maturity level you think they can handle. You also have to listen to them. Believe it or not, your kids may have a better sense of whom is right for you then you have yourself. After all, they are not blinded by lust or love that you are in middle of at that moment.

Listen to and respect your childrens' opinions. That doesn’t mean that you have to instantly dump someone your kids don’t like. After all, your kids may still be hurting from your break-up with their Father and like most children, they are still hoping two of you will get back together. However, you should keep in mind feelings of your kids. Do you want to possibly marry a person your child doesn’t like or trust? I dated a man once that my daughter told me she didn’t like. She could never put her finger on exactly why, it was just a feeling. It turned out that feeling was justifiable and he really did turn out to be a jerk. The first time she met my current husband, I tucked her into bed and she whispered in my ear “this is a good one, Mom. You need to try to keep him.” She was 10 years old at time. Now she is about to turn 13 and that man is about to adopt her. Gotta say…she was right!

So, like I keep saying in other articles before this one…listen to your heart. You will know when it is time for someone to meet your kids. You will also know when your kids are ready to meet them. Just remember: your child’s wellbeing is more important than your busy social life. Keep in mind, though, that when you are happy, they will be happy too.