I 'LL BET YOUR'VE NEVER HAD THIS EXPERIENCE... Someone introduces themselves to you. Then you tell them your name. Suddenly you realize you can not recall their name. Why does this happen so often? Simple, you didn't forget their name - you never really heard it in first place! You still had yourself in middle of picture.

Most people do not listen with intent to understand - they listen with intent to reply or impress. This is never successful because mind does not have simultaneous capability. Therefore, if you are contemplating your next statement, you are not focusing on his words, tones and actions.

In order to read a person like a book, you must get them to open up, get them talking. Getting people to open up is a skill that you can learn.

A skilled conversationalist uses specific question in three different categories.

(1) Conversation starters. (2) Personal questions. (3) Philosophical questions).

Once you've mastered a small inventory of optional question you can switch categories to control outcome.

He who does not ask right questions always hears wrong answers.

An unclear question has an infinite number of possible answers.

Many say that information is path to power. The wealthiest people will tell you that it's their ability to make wise choices in dealing with people that is their greatest asset. And that when they did make mistakes, it was often disastrous for them socially and financially.

When I walked into that hotel room, what did I pay attention to? Did I see telephone and think about checking my voice mails? Did I see closet space and think about hanging up my garment bag. No! I saw mini bar and thought about food!

Where is pain here? The pain is that I am hungry. Where is comfort? The comfort is in food. So what will human nature drive me to do? The obvious answer is, eat! But what about my commitment to weight control?

It doesn’t matter. All human performance is either avoidance of pain, or seeking of comfort. Pain is hunger, comfort is mini bar!

For years I had a problem with my weight. I kept using willpower to eat less but it never would last very long. Human natures compelling forces of avoiding pain and seeking comfort are far more powerful than great intentions and willpower. Human nature will always win!

Since human nature is all powerful and will always be working in my life, I wonder if there is a way to get human nature to work for me instead of against me...

Finally, solution hit me like a gust of cold air on a still night! Stop fighting human nature. Since I will always be driven to avoid pain and to seek comfort, then I need to associate pain with mini bar and comfort with staying out of mini bar.

Here’s how! I told five of my coaching clients that if I go into mini bar on my trip then I will pay each of them $250. That’s $1,250 if I go into mini bar!

Now, where is pain!

I had finally figured it out! I linked pain to behavior I wanted to avoid, and pleasure to action I wanted to have!

...Accountability!

The five people I told I knew would hold me accountable. I even suspected that one of them would actually call hotel and tell them he was from FBI and needed a copy of my room bill!

Look at dynamic I had. I had a specific action: (no mini bar) combined with accountability ($1,250 fine).

That is elite performance formula. You can do this yourself and I promise you that over next seven days you will find opportunity to take action you commit to as long as you link not doing it to pain, and taking of action to comfort. In many cases, avoidance of pain becomes comfort.

Apply this to your prospecting. Commit to making so many calls this week. Make sure that this number is a realistic number that you should be able to do. Make this commitment to another person, put a fine on it, and enjoy your week!

Here is what you will find out at end of week.

It was easy! Do this for just one activity every week and you will be quite impressed when Dec. 31 rolls around!