Introduce interesting topics of conversation - good movies you've seen, places you've visited. If you're stuck, ask other person something - Do you have children? Did you get away over [holidays]? Have you read [the latest bestseller]? Where do you work? Any of these questions will get other person talking about their favorite topic - them! You'd be most popular person at party if that's all you did all night long!

Help in unobtrusive ways. Empty some ash trays, take abandoned dishes to kitchen, whisk your hosts' kid off to bathroom, pass around a plate of hot hors d'oeuvres. If you see something that needs doing, quietly do it. Your hostess has her hands full! At one party I gave, a candle caught fire in den. I appreciated guest who put it out, removed tablecloth, cleaned up mess, and then came and told me!

ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END

Don't overstay your welcome, no matter how much you're enjoying yourself. Why? You had a nap, got your nails done, watched football game. They've been cooking and cleaning for days.

How do you know when it's time to go home? USE YOUR INTUITION. You may've been told 2-5, or just "come around 8", but your host and/or hostess will give off nonverbal signals when it's time for you to go home. They yawn, suddenly get up, start fidgeting and twisting, let conversation lag, or even start doing dishes! Get a clue!

SAY GOOD-BYE. Even if it's a large gathering, seek out host and/or hostess and tell them good bye, and thank them!

Send a written thank-you note afterwards. It's just a nice thing to do.

Being a good guest means making a positive contribution to gathering. And, oh yes, don't forget to have fun, because that's catching and everyone will appreciate it.

6. Use one of your strengths to overwhelm a weakness. Sam isn't naturally good with people; he's too introverted. His top theme is Intellection, so he studied how others do it, and makes a very good approximation for someone who'd rather be dealing with ideas than people. 7. Find a partner. Oliver was rainmaker in law firm. Holding tax collection contracts for various cities, his day was filled with schmoozing. He partnered with a brilliant intellectual who was detail-oriented, had no need to be in spotlight, and who churned out paperwork and ran calendar, presenting a perfect trial notebook to Oliver when it was time to go to court.

8. Delegate your weakness. A property management owner didn't like to deal with employees and their "problems." She hired a vice-president to do training, HR and employee relations which freed her to go out and get new clients which was what she was good at.

9. Work with a complementry colleague. If you give ad presentations in pairs, make sure you're buddy is strong in numbers and facts if that's your weak suit.

10. Just stop doing it. The first thing I ask a client who's agonizing over being "organized," is "Who cares?" Often when they start to answer this question, they discover they're only one who cares. This comes up often with "filing" and "messy desks." When you're self-confident and UNAPOLOGETIC, you'll find most people will adopt your response. Which brings up next topic …

11. Stop comparing yourself. If you're doing your job well, means to end don't matter that much. I paid a call once on a partner at Fulbright & Jaworski-no place for disorganized amateurs. His office looked like a bomb had gone off in it. There were piles of paper 5' high all around his office. He got a phone call, got up, walked over to 3rd pile on left, reached into middle of it and pulled out a piece of paper. If you have a system that works for you, let it be. 11.And … keep your sense of humor about it all. Keep it in perspective.

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in process he doesn't become a monster." -- Nietzsche