Also keep in mind that nobody is expected to have all right answers. As I said before, I am not know-it-all genius of computer programming, so in most interviews there is at least one question for which I do not have answer or topic that I do not know about. When this happens, I do not pretend to have answer or try to sound intelligent about topic. I simply tell them that I do not know. What's important, though, is way you say you don't know. Even if words coming out of your mouth are as simple as "I don't know", perception that your attitude should portray is that he or she does not know, but it's okay that they don't know. In other words, say it with confidence and self respect. "I don't know because I've never needed to use that in past" or "I normally use such and such instead" and, if possible, tell them why you prefer your alternative. Also try to tell them how you would learn this topic if it is required in your new position. This, again, achieves two objects. It shows them your problem solving abilities and it gives you another opportunity to speak freely. Finally, if you have no clue what they're talking about, ask them to explain topic or to give you an example. Again, speaking freely and showing them that you are interested in learning and also that you are comfortable in their company.

I also think one of key factors for anybody in an interview is to see that you can think for yourself and that you have your own opinions. DO NOT use yes/no answers!! Every question that an interviewer asks should be seen as an opportunity for you to speak and not a hurdle that you have to cross as quickly as possible. Of course you must stay on topic or they will think you are trying to evade question. However, try to elaborate and give them examples to show your experience and understanding of topic. Even if this is your first interview and you have no working experience, it should not be a problem - remember you are trying to steer conversion towards your personality and not your technical skills. Even after 13 years in industry, I still use a lot of examples and stories (short stories, stay on topic) from my personal life to answer interview questions.

I have now mentioned this "speaking freely" a number of times and I guess that's basis of it all. Remember that person on other side of desk is nothing but that, just another person. I always try to be early for an interview so that I have some time to relax after traffic. During those last couple of minutes, I stand outside having a cigarette and I play out a little scene in my mind, which I would rather not repeat here. Anyway, it boils down to me having a casual conversation with interviewer and explaining to them that we're all in same boat. We're all here on this planet for a short time and all just trying to make best of things. Yes, it sounds stupid, I know. But for me it re-affirms in my mind that person I am about to talk to is just another person and that I should treat them as that.

So let me summarize. Focus on your personality, not your technical abilities. Unless you're best in your industry, in which case I'm talking to other 99.999% in your industry. Remember that interviewer is just another person and treat them as one by speaking to them as you would somebody that you have known for a while. This is only way you can have some control of steering conversation in direction you want. While being comfortable and speaking your mind, do show respect at same time and remember, it's still their interview, so let them have final control. Finally, BE HONEST.

Seeking Slender Threads

Seeking slender threads weaving our lives can also lead us toward meaningful work. What are slender threads? "Being in a particular place at just right time, meeting someone who steers you in an unforeseen direction, unexpected appearance of work or money or inspiration just when they are most needed. Whether called fate, destiny or hand of God, slender threads are at work…weaving remarkable tapestry of our lives." Robert A. Johnson, Balancing Heaven and Earth.

Viewing my own life I see how those slender threads - chance meetings - patterned decades of my life. I see how some of my best career choices came about through some great benevolent force guiding me, connecting me to necessary people and experiences more so than my well-made plans or goals. All I did was get information I could, put myself out there and then, follow little steps revealed to me.

If you are in job search or looking for career direction put yourself "out there" and be open to slender threads. Look and listen for unexpected connections or clues. Pay attention to meaningful words that suddenly catch your attention or replay in your mind whether from a passing stranger, friend, dream, song, TV show, book title, or….

Tell everyone you meet you are in career change, soul searching, job search…find your own words. In a sentence or two let them know what you enjoy doing, what your skills are, what interests you or where you would like to work. Ask if they can think of a job title that might suit someone like you, or where you might apply for work, or who else could they suggest for you talk to.

People love to help if we will but open ourselves to their generosity. Take little steps. Pause, relax and trust your small inner voice. Look for slender threads weaving majestic tapestry of our lives. Herein, follow guidance toward your right livelihood.