By referring to ourselves as survivors, we keep ourselves locked in grips of abuse. Say these two sentences out loud.. 1. I am an abuse survivor. 2. I have prevailed over an abuser and his attacks against me.

There is a difference in emotions these two sentences invoke. In first sentence, I am an abuse survivor, following is present: 1. The word abuse is given a prominent location in sentence, focusing attention on that word, rather than on survivor. 2. When said aloud, word abuse is given strong accent.. I am an abuse survivor. 3. This sentence defines YOU according to abuse. I am an abuse survivor. This defines you.. meaning you have allowed abuse to define your life. It implies that primary character and life shaping event in your life was being abused. I don't know about you, but while abuse played a part in my character & life development, it falls far from being most important life & character shaping event of my life.

In second sentence, I have prevailed over an abuser and his attacks against me, following is present: 1. The word prevailed is given a prominent location in sentence, focusing attention on that word and what it means, rather than event (the abuser and his attacks). 2. When said aloud, word prevailed is given strong accent.. I have prevailed over an abuser and his attacks against me. This focuses attention on your accomplishment, your reaction to attack - rather than giving attention to abuser and what he did to you. 3. The phrase, "I have prevailed over.." gives yourself and any other listener impression AND THE TRUTH about what happened. You were abused, but you also prevailed over abuser because their goal was complete destruction of you and they failed. 4. This sentence does not define you according to abuse. It's simply a statement about one thing you have accomplished in your life. You prevailed over an abuser an his attacks against you. You are not defined by that event or time period in your life, rather, you have grown from it.

It's possible that some may not believe that way you say things makes a difference.. but, just look at old saying "Is glass half full or half empty?" It is a fact that way you say things affects way you think and way others think. Perception and impression can be changed simply by making a few changes in way you word a sentence.

I do not use my experience with abuse as an excuse for anything I may do. I do not require any person's sympathy. I do not define myself or my life by event of abuse. So, I make sure that words I use to describe that event reflect my feelings.

I have prevailed over an abuser and his attacks against me.

"Turn around, Susan," she said, laughing.

I got up and turned around and looked. We were maybe 1/4 mile from shore, where at that time we were passing a very ugly and industrial town. To say that we had been hugging shore whole time would be an understatement.

And so it goes ...

There can be a whole world out there you're missing because you're focused in your own peculiar sort of way.

In this case, I was creating magic where there was none, which feels better than opposite, but denial is still denial, and reality-testing requires ability to see whole picture. Nearly any problem we consider unsurmountable appears that way because we’re seeing only tip of iceberg.

My hairdresser, who ought to be a coach always spins me around in chair at some point and says, "Here. Get another point of view."

POINT OF VIEW. Creativity allows you to get lots of points of view and how your world will expand!

When you develop your creativity you have special powers. When you look at surface of a problem, or person, or situation, you will know that there might be something else to look at there. The first step is to entertain that possibility.

If you don’t know you’re IN a box, how can you leap OUT of it?