• On small cards or paper, write down following categories on each paper: person, day, place, experience, food, item Go around table and have each person draw out a card. Then that person tells of something they are grateful for from that category and why they are grateful for it.

• On Thanksgiving Day hang a piece of posterboard where it will be accessible to everyone. Have everyone in your family write things on it that they are thankful for. See how many you can come up with by end of day. (Or write these on a roll of cash register receipt paper and tape it up around room.)

• Have thank-you notes and stationary readily available to everyone in your home on Thanksgiving day. Encourage your family to write a letter or thank-you note to someone they are thankful for: a teacher, a grandparent, a friend.

• Invite a new family in your neighborhood or a lonely person to dinner

• Go to a homeless shelter to help cook and serve Thanksgiving dinner

• Gather food to take to a local food bank

If you’re planning to order anything from a caterer, do it now. If you need to special-order anything (wine, favors), do it now.

One thing I do is to plan one thing that’s really smashing in presentation (flaming crepes, a decorated pie crust, something insane with turkey platter). This gets their attention and other things can be plain jane.

SHOPPING

Shop now for staples – flour, sugar, butter, canned goods, anything that will keep especially if there might be a run on it, like canned pumpkin pie or stuffing mix. You’ll probably need a last-minute run (like for fresh lettuce), but if you can limit time that will take, you’ll be glad.

A few of things that get hard to find where I live are whipping cream, fresh cranberries, turkeys of size you want, and frozen pie shells. Each of these things keeps well and can be bought right now. If you can’t recall what your stores run out of, pay attention this year so you’ll be prepared for next year. That’s EQ way.

FOOD PREP

Think ahead about counter, refrigerator and prep space. If you use a frozen turkey, clear out freezer space. Pare down refrigerator to make space for turkey as it thaws and other dishes, and later, leftovers.

Make counter space by moving toaster and canisters to pantry temporarily. Set up a card table in corner of kitchen. Or get laundry done, clear off top of dryer and washer (or cover with board) and use that space.

If you live in a cold climate, you have option of storing things judiciously, and for a short while, on a back porch. Only if it’s cold enough!

THE LIST

Make a list, work through it, then make next list. The shopping list will change for instance.

I always post a copy of menu on my refrigerator because I blush to tell you that one year I forgot one of side dishes that was buried in refrigerator.

This is because I serve many different things, but you don’t need to. The easiest way to get through this, if you’re stressed, inexperienced or having to work late Wednesday, is to keep it simple and ask others to bring dishes.

LET OTHERS HELP

You don’t have to do this all by yourself and you don’t have to pay money for help either. Of course you could call a rental place and a caterer, but Thanksgiving is a time of, well, GIVING, and people like to. As someone who has been a guest for Thanksgiving a lot in recent years, I can tell you how much I like to be ALLOWED to bring something.

Ask people to bring side dishes or desserts. Assign cleaning chores to different members of your household. Ask your mother-in-law, Craft Diva, to make centerpiece. Ask your spouse to take kids out for dinner night before so you can work undistracted. Get your brother-in-law to be responsible for chairs.

Most people love to help. Give them a chance to do this as part of your Thanksgiving gift to them.

PROCESS

When it’s over, make notes about what went well, what didn’t and why. Then you’ll be ahead of game next year.

Making lists, thinking things through ahead of time, remembering what you learned last year, and using your EQ are all ways to add to a Happy Thanksgiving.

Good luck!