STOP COMPROMISING

Yes, compromise can be necessary. But most of us compromise what we want far too often and it leaves us resentful, restless, unfulfilled and out of balance. Look at those places where you recognize those feelings and root out compromise you are making. Are you staying in a dead end job because of money when you’d rather be doing something more fulfilling? Are you taking on more than your share of household tasks so someone else (kids, spouse) can do what they enjoy? Look at each of these situations and identify choice you are making. Compromising yourself or your values is a choice. You can start looking for solutions or continue compromise…the choice is yours.

FIX THE SOURCE

Oftentimes we blame our circumstances for our sense of imbalance--the job we have, people we work with, our financial needs, family obligation, etc. But, our imbalance can also come from within us. The choices we make, beliefs we hold, and situations we accept all contribute to our sense of being “out of balance”. Take time to think about this question: What one thing, if changed or eliminated, would make biggest difference in your life starting today? Once you have an answer, brainstorm at least 12 ways you could make that happen. Only after you have identified 12 possible solutions, may you begin to think about which to pursue, given realities of your situation.

Work-life balance might seem like answer in short run, but over long term only way to have a sustainable, and nearly effortless inner balance is by integrating your life rather than compartmentalizing it. If you are ready to find your natural balance, start here:

3-2-1 ACTION

Write down your top 3 values and think about how your life expresses those today. How would your ideal week, month or year look if those values drove your actions and goals?

Identify 2 compromises you continue to make that contribute to your feelings of imbalance. Decide to make a different choice or find a solution for each situation.

Resolve to fix 1 cause of your imbalance before day is done.

I learned that lesson as a senior manager involved in a start-up company. One afternoon, president saw me stapling information sheets in a conference room. After saying good-bye to his guest he came back and asked, "Nan, what are you doing?" After explaining why meeting a FedEx pickup was critical to an important corporate initiative and number of people working to meet it, he offered to help. People who are ego-detached recognize that best use of their time and talent can vary in moment.

I used to marvel at colleagues of mine, other Vice Presidents, who delayed getting something to their boss because their executive assistant was gone for day and it needed copying. I'm not talking about stuff that can and should wait. It's those late night meetings when boss says he'd like to review something that night and he needs a copy. Ego-detached people go to copier, copy it and walk copy back to their boss, regardless of title. It's how best they can serve at moment.

If you want to be winning at working, don't let your ego dictate your actions, let situation. Don't be afraid to sweep up worms from time to time. And don't be afraid to serve. As Tolstoy put it, "The vocation of every man and woman is to serve other people." That's ego-detached.

(c) 2004 Nan S. Russell. All rights reserved.