4. Job Search.

We have no control over when we receive a call for an interview or get that job offer we want so much. What we can control is where we spend our valuable energy. Submitting resumes for openings advertised in classifieds or on line should be a very minor part of our job search. For every position listed, hundreds of resumes may be submitted. Do math and it is revealed as similar to buying a lottery ticket - easy and fun to do but unlikely to change your future. Spend your time more wisely by networking with everyone you know (and everyone they know) and calling on employers in your industry to identify openings which have not yet been publicized. Your sense of control arises out of being proactive: putting yourself in public eye, refusing to passively sit by telephone awaiting call which never comes. You may be exhausted at end of day, and frustrated if negative reactions held no hint of possibility, but you do have self-satisfaction of knowing that you have taken your fate into your own hands and will no longer be relegated to ranks of those who simply "watch and wait."

5. Community Activities.

You may be relatively inactive in local events or deeply committed to your community. In either case, now is time to intensify your level of activity. Since you can only productively job search for a limited number of hours per week, use additional time to become connected. Volunteer for local charities, schools, union halls, hospitals, any communal events you can find. You control where you invest your time and efforts and being productive, even in a small way, can help repair your shattered self-esteem. Interacting with other volunteers is also a whole new opportunity for networking and may indirectly lead to that one golden opportunity you seek.

The world of unemployment, especially if prolonged, can be emotional debilitating. By reasserting control over some aspects of our lives, we can contain damage inflicted on our psyche and face future proudly, recognizing that job loss is a regrettable fact of life, not a personal failure.

Despite statistics that indicate employment is coming back, there's pain and inaccuracy behind these cold numbers. We are working more but feeling as if we're earning less and living in time poverty. Affluenza is an all too common word. The consistent notion that work should be a 24/7 event is being challenged by a rising number of strident voices. And with those voices comes a cry for most urgent answer to sustainable success: finding meaningful work that makes an impact and lets us live in bargain. Answer that plea and we'll unleash a productive and creative power akin to a tsunami.

In short we want to LOVE what we do, who we do it for and who we do it with AND love life we create outside that work. That's essence-the Holy Grail-the mysterious work/life balance piece. Finding that Holy Grail is done by parallel processing, working on two tracks. The first track is to make work "work" for you in your current situation.

Wouldn't it make more sense to transform wherever you find yourself-even while continuing to search-so that if and when you leave, there's a faint footprint of achievement, community, contribution and yes, even memory of a beneficial interaction. Such a transformation allows you to love yourself in process. It keeps bridges from burning and strengthens a network of relationships that one day you might call upon. The critical question becomes: how do you turn a "job' into a "work"-into something that gives you more than a paycheck? No, you might not be able to alter corporate strategic plan, paint garbage truck peppermint pink or change a boss from a toad to a prince. But, there are specific action items you can take within your sphere of influence. Too often, we expect management to lead us in career directions, to provide us with recognition, to make "it" a better place. It's just like a marriage: there's responsibility on both sides. Using tools offered by Bev Kaye and Sharon Jordan Evans in Love it. Don't Leave It (available at major bookstores), you'll find a literal alphabet soup of specific action steps to help you take ownership for your life at work

Don't wait. Time is too precious to squander. You CAN fall in love again.

(c) 2004, McDargh Communications. All rights in all media reserved. Reprints must include byline, contact information and copyright.