For one of my career coaching clients, a definition of success is having autonomy in her work. She wants to set her own goals and direct her own activities. She’s considering part-time consulting work as a transition to her success. Another client defines success as a satisfying family and personal life – she’s looking for work that allows her flexible hours and telecommuting days.

In her book, “If Success is a Game, These Are Rules”, Cherie Carter-Scott gives several examples of success:

Whilst grieving for your loved one you may find yourself not wanting contact with anybody other than those to whom you are closest. Having to deal with so many people can be very difficult so it's important to understand how to handle them.

Relatives and Close Friends

Those who were close to deceased need to be contacted before funeral. When you break news, remember that they will also need chance to express their grief and this must be respected, no matter how deeply distressed you are feeling yourself.

Sometimes it can be difficult, if not impossible, to trace certain family members. Don't feel guilty if you've not been able to contact all of them.

Some of those who you'll need to contact may be people who you do not know personally. If they come to funeral and you have not been able to speak to them properly it would be a good idea to write or telephone them later, to thank them for attending.

The Small Funeral

Perhaps you have decided on a small funeral, either through your own personal preference or because deceased made their own preference clear. Perhaps financial side of funeral will force you into this decision. Make decision clear and stick to it.

You may find that some friends or relatives insist on attending even after you've explained this to them. Be polite but firm. Explain that you appreciate their wish to attend, but that it is a family decision to enforce such a restriction. If they still insist, they are simply being insensitive and you may have to take a different approach. You might tell them that date of funeral has not yet been decided and leave things at that. Whatever you do, don't allow anyone to emotionally blackmail you into changing your decision. And don't feel guilty if you need to lie. They are being insensitive, and you are simply trying to deal with matters as best you can.

Polite Conversation

Unless funeral is very small it will probably be impossible for you to speak to all of attendees. Don't even try. Most people will understand that you are not going to feel like making polite conversation. You will find that those will any degree of sensitivity will simply approach you, kiss your cheek/shake your hand and offer their condolences. They will not expect more than you are able to offer.

The Wake