Poop Headed People

Written by Ed Williams


I’ve been sitting here forrepparttar past couple of hours watchingrepparttar 101259 Atlanta Falcons get massacred byrepparttar 101260 Kansas City Chiefs. At this pointrepparttar 101261 score is 49-10, which is a country (you fill inrepparttar 101262 word here) anyway you want to look at it. Seeing as howrepparttar 101263 outcome ofrepparttar 101264 game appears to be a foregone conclusion, I decided to go outside and stretch my legs a bit.

I went out, walked around, looked at some ofrepparttar 101265 trees, and then cast my gaze outwards towardsrepparttar 101266 front yard andrepparttar 101267 road that runs by our house. And while I’m doing all that lookin‘, I notice this mature lady, okay, this old lady, okaaayyyy, this very old lady out walking her dog. Normally, I wouldn’t pay much attention to that, but something did catch my eye in this particular situation - this old lady proceeded to walk her dog on up into my yard, and took him over towards some of my azaleas. I was wondering just whatrepparttar 101268 deal was, so I walked a tad closer and did so just inrepparttar 101269 nick of time - this pooch was about to do a number two right in front of my azaleas. I guess my presence threw his timing off, cause he quickly stopped squatting and stood straight up. The old lady looked over towards me with a slightly annoyed countenance, to which I politely asked,

“Mam, why are y’all up here in my yard?”

Her polite, but firm response,

“Young man, it should be obvious that my pet needs to relieve himself. Now, if you don’t mind.”

I should have been a better man than this, but I’m not, so I said,

“Mam, this may come as a shock to you, but I don’t want your dog dropping brown bombs all over my front yard.”

Her wizened face did not indicate happiness, so she replied,

“And just what harm would it be if my Spoofy did his business here?”

I could barely contain myself,

“Mam, with all due respect, I’m not running a public pet toilet here - this is where I live, and frankly, I don’t want a big mound of doggie crap right out here in front of my azaleas.”

I could tell she was getting a bit more perturbed by her reply,

“Well, it’s obvious that you don’t like or respect animals.”

Seven Home Hair Color Tips for Great Results

Written by Nancy Faizabadi


Doing your own home hair color forrepparttar first time can be intimidating, to sayrepparttar 101258 least. Have I chosenrepparttar 101259 right color? What if I make a mistake and wind up with green hair? What if I end up with overprocessed, dry damaged hair?

The fact is that you can achieve excellent results and save a lot of money by coloring your hair at home as long as you know a few basics about how to selectrepparttar 101260 right color and apply it correctly.

Here are seven ofrepparttar 101261 most common questions and my advice on hair coloring at home.

Advice on Permanent Hair Coloring at Home

1.How do I know whether I should color my hair at home or go to a salon?

Most people can successfully color their hair at home but there are exceptions. You should get a professional color job if your hair is in poor condition - coloring dry damaged hair at home can result in uneven color. Also, if your hair has different shades and you want one even tone, a hairdresser can apply different formulas torepparttar 101262 different areas. Finally, it's best to leave it torepparttar 101263 experts if you want to make a drastic change to your hair color, say dark brown to platinum blonde, or you want special color effects or highlights.

2.Are drugstore hair colors just as good as salon hair color products?

In general, salon hair colors contain higher-quality ingredients thanrepparttar 101264 drugstore brands. Salons also offer a wider variety of colors and tones. But home coloring kits are getting better all repparttar 101265 time and can deliver good results if used properly.

3.How do I pick a color that will look natural on me?

When choosing a hair color, your skin tone and natural hair color arerepparttar 101266 two most important factors. Whether you're going lighter or darker, stay within two or three shades of your natural hair color. Here is a guideline for selecting a compatible hair color for your skin tone:

·Dark/olive skin: Stay with darker hair colors. ·Yellow skin: Dark, rich colors like deep auburn. ·Pale skin: Almost any color. ·Pink skin: Neutral tones like sandy or beige blonde or chocolate brown are best. Avoid reds or golden tones.

If you know what clothing colors suit you, you can also use that to help in choosing hair color:

·If you look good in warm shades like red, orange, golden yellow, cinnamon brown, olive green, and rust, then warm hair tones like golden blonde, golden brown, strawberry blonde, and auburn will suit you best.

Cont'd on page 2 ==>
 
ImproveHomeLife.com © 2005
Terms of Use