Some body language experts claim that only about 7% of our messages to other people are communicated through
words we speak. The rest of our messages are conveyed through our body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. During your entire life you have been sending messages to others through your posture, gestures, and facial expressions.
Even if you never say a word, your face and body are constantly sending out messages to other people about your state of mind, your happiness, and your level of confidence.
When you were an infant, before you learned to speak, people were peering into your little baby face, looking at your gestures, and listening to your little cries and gurgles, trying to decipher what kind of mood you were in, and what you were trying to say.
And you have been reacting to body language, voice tone, and facial expressions of people around you all your life, even though you may not have been consciously aware of it.
What sorts of messages are you conveying to others with your body language? Does your body language encourage other people to approach you? Or do you subconsciously warn them to stay away?
How do you usually stand or sit when you are with other people? What are you doing with your hands? Where are you looking with your eyes?
Does your face express interest in people you are with, or does your face stay a tense, stony mask?
When you are sitting or standing, do you usually cross your arms across your chest? If this is your typical way of standing or sitting, how do you think other people interpret this posture? Did you realize that most people will subconsciously interpret your arms crossed in front of your chest as a signal that you don’t want anyone to approach you? Only bravest souls are likely to come forward when you adopt this posture.
If you stand awkwardly, with your chest slumped forward, your shoulders drooping, and your eyes avoiding everyone else, people are likely to decide you are very depressed or completely lacking in confidence. They may fear that trying to talk with you will be an awkward experience.
When you stand awkwardly, you do not project any sign that you are confident in yourself, or that you have any interest in people around you. Instead you look like you are trying to disappear.
No matter how desperately you want someone to come over and befriend you, if your body language projects awkwardness or disinterest in others, it’s not very likely that many people will try to start a conversation with you.
